there are so many levels of the mind
I am recognizing that labeling my mother with dementia, or short term memory loss, is a misunderstanding.
Her condition of “dementia” has moments of actually enhancing her chronic lifetime phobias …. most notably, fear of everything new and obsessive compulsive disorder.
She has not “forgotten” how to engage her obsessive compulsiveness. She just forgets that she is repeating the same OCD behavior over and over again multiple times. She thinks she’s only doing it once!
She has not forgotten that she abhors anything new or different. When she recalls that she’s doing something new, she clearly remembers to refuse to try it or do it.
This is a sad and pathetic life for my mom. And it is so hard for me to witness this, and accept it.
As her primary caregiver, how can I look through HER eyes?
Would this help me feel less judgmental and tortured by her insanity?
I will try to witness things as HER. Maybe I can cope better with this practice.
stay tuned …..