as the world turns

“If you live for the things of this world, that’s all you’re gunna get”

Lavette Hawkins

sitting in padmasana, while floating in my aerial hammock

My morning meditation ensues

intuitive sense of being inwardly stable at the core

while my physical energy form is spinning around a quiet and still inner axis

I can intuit feeling how the earth must feel wobbling on its axis

I ask myself, what is true?

I sit in Silence

no audible answer arrives

just an awareness that I exist in this moment

is that not enough?

with clarity that the awareness of this moment is beyond my understanding

I remind myself that I can’t see anything for what it really is

but there is a strong pull to look deeply at ALL relationships today (after all, it’s 12/12)

the One and the Other, the circle and the diameter, the Self and God

and I practice the last four stages of Patanjali’s 8-fold path:

Pratyahara, withdrawal of the senses

Dharana, fixing the mind to a single point

Dhyana, focused meditation where the subject and object are fully aware of each other

Samadhi, subject and object recognize each other as the same, and become One

I rest with an inner knowing that there is nothing more valuable than this thing we call Life,

even in our misunderstandings, our seeming errors, our untrue beliefs, and our non-life-enhancing actions

even these mistakes are of value although we can’t comprehend it from this perspective

I remember and re-cognize that it’s the only thing that Exists (this thing we call Life),

and that it is without beginning and without end

because the only REAL relationship is Life eternally experiencing itself as Life

“Live your life. If you have a gospel of truth, share it. And if it is true others will hear it. Be the good shepherd, and those that are supposed to hear your voice will hear it.”

Derrick, global witness

 

 

oh my sacred dream time

“Enlightenment is not seeing everything through the distortion called egoic state of consciousness. That’s why it’s called natural state;  It’s perception without a lens. Ultimately that’s what enlightenment is: Perception without distortion.” Adyashanti

The dream state is a lustrous gem

here’s where all of the distortions are revealed

In perfect living color, form and sound

Because in TIME

I only see through the lens of my perceptions (distortions)

But when sleep time comes, the TIME perceptions dissolve

Now I can see through it all

My dreams show me what I know in a way I can’t really comprehend
It would be too jarring for my indoctrinated left-sided brain
So my dream time gives me truths incognito

I am learning to unlock the symbolic coding

and it’s beginning to shine crystal clear

OH MY SACRED DREAM TIME

 

 

 

Knowing and Not Knowing

It can go either way; both ways, neither way, one way or another.

That is the beauty of the Mystery of Life

But we are still trying to manifest what we think we Know in the world.

We need Both Knowing and Not Knowing.

We need All of it. We need None of it.

Flashback: I was 10 or 11 years old. I’d get off the school bus and walk half-a-mile home, down Roberts Road and up the hill to Johanna Lane. This was 1970, and thankfully children did not have to carry their I phones everywhere. So my daily walk home from the school bus was an opportunity to be quiet with myself in nature.

One day, walking up the hill to my house, A HUGE, QUIET awareness entered my 10-year-old psyche. For the briefest moment time stood still and I became aware of Awareness Itself.

Of course, as a 10-year-old child I lacked the maturity to even process an experience like this. But it was experienced in a way that Janet’s little mind could actually sense Big Mind – and yet there was a noticing that they were BOTH Janet’s mind!

It was like looking through the opening of a long tube and observing a single eye looking back at you from the other end. But it’s Your Eye!

This was my first introduction to Zen, and I didn’t even Know it. But the perfume never left me.

Flashback to present time reality. The paradoxical predicament of Knowing and simultaneously Not Knowing has presented a subtle change in my awareness post silent retreat.

Whenever I observe my mind’s seemingly natural tendency to compulsively plan future moments, to obsessively over evaluate, and to habitually fall into conditioned storytelling, I do stop, take a moment, and allow the Voice of Not Knowing to remind me to lighten up and let go. However, it seems there is an equally powerful Voice of Knowing that I also have access to.

This Knowing Voice can often guide my actions in the world. This Knowing Voice witnesses the insanity of the world and guides me to see the truth of the matter. It always informs me where to place my heart’s intentions.

In time-dimension reality, it seems that our new God could easily be called Technology if we succumb to the obsessive desire to Create a Controlling God. Be alert and informed and aware of the positive AND negative potentials of this powerful God.

My Knowing heart’s intentions are screaming, Go outside and see the Natural life around you.

Plant a seed and wonder if it will grow or not.

Trust that Life will always Exist regardless of your attempted manipulation of it.

I attached the video below because I was intrigued in the way David brings to light the potential truths of transhumanist agendas, and I just love him. He doesn’t give a shit if people think he’s wacko, he speaks from the Knowing in his own heart.  And I was even more pleasantly surprised when the video switches midway to an interview with Monnica Sepulveda (at around 28 minutes). Profound insights …….

(video credit inspired by Out of this world X, Hatter’s blog)

The Word is not That

As human beings, I sense that our commonality of experience can be summed up as a deeply suppressed sense that something is dreadfully wrong about this existence. I think this “sense” hovers in a part of our mind that we’ve mostly forgotten to recognize, but sometimes, for some of us; it awakens and shows itself again.

But I am not referring to the “something wrong” that takes the form of the ego’s compulsion to desire something other than what is actually happening in the moment. It’s actually something deeper than that superficial desire to control the outcome of our actions, and deeper than the realization that we actually cannot control the seen and unseen consequences of our actions.

I am referring to a deep inner knowledge that this existence we consciously perceive is constructed on a foundation of complete insanity. I am referring to an innate recognition of an overbearing “untruth” about this realm of existence regardless of your world view and your social/psychological/emotional indoctrination.

The very realization of one’s existence, the moment we are consciously aware of being a living being, it is the “birth” of a miraculous individual lifeform, and the lifeform’s individuality is an instinctual right to be unique and free to BE as it was created to BE. Of course, we don’t know what the lifeform was “created to BE” but we do know that IT exists. I AM is the only utterance close to truth.

Every single being that can say I AM was “created to BE” and each individual lifeform exists with the same instinctual right to be unique and free to be as it was created to BE.
At least this is a simple idea we can ALL agree upon.

The word “Natural” seems appropriate here.

Our natural inherent instinctual right is to be what we naturally are.

But not knowing what we actually are resulted in the creation of some insane beliefs to hide that deep sense that something is dreadfully wrong.

Believing in the idea that an authority outside us and above us is required to rule our actions has created and enabled the insanity of such things as slavery, political cabals/government, creation of financial debt, legalized violence/war, power by force, legalized theft/taxation, formalized religion).

You do not need an outside authority to govern your actions unless you have been conditioned to believe that you do. You were created with the innate ability to discern Ahimsa (no harm).

This innate ability has been conditioned out of us through our continued belief and agreement to abide in a state of being that is NOT free.

As Liz Cronkhite describes it (I’m paraphrasing), “the moment the idea of NOT GOD entered the One Mind, it was undone.” But in Time it appears to be happening again and again and again. So we are experiencing NOT GOD in Time, which is possible because of Infinite Potential, but NOT True.

The perpetual human condition of slavery is ever so present in our continued belief and acceptance of present day “masters” (political leaders/government, money/ debt creation, power to control others by force, and legally accepted violence in all forms. (Violence means murder, not self-defense)

True Anarchy is the natural and free state of being.

Anarchy does NOT mean without rules, without order; it does NOT mean chaos and disorder, it does NOT mean no laws.

It is translated as Without (an) Masters (archon).

No masters meaning no slaves.

Krishnamurti’s expression here is way better than my feeble attempt:

angel of death dream

DREAM:

observing the sky from a large floor to ceiling window.

in awe of a light formation in the early evening sky

it moved like swirls of wispy cloud-like substance

fast and spinning, up and down, in and out, and in a split second it’s GONE

Holy shit, what the fuck? 

I’m astonished

what the hell was that????

a moment later it reappeared in the same white cloud substance

but it was up close next to my window

it took the form of a SKELETON

not bones though, a cloud substance skeleton figure, animated as if talking to me

now I’m terror struck that this is happening right in front of my eyes

3-D LIFE:

Certain life-events yesterday may have contributed to my subconscious message to Self.

  1. Deeply moved by words I heard (credit and thanks to Global Witness, Derek’s You Tube dharma): “Everything we see in this world is a COPY of something that’s invisible, and a poor one at that”
  2. Driving along Route 17M, I have an unusually compelling impulse to look at my mileage (I never do this) and the number is 11, 144.
  3. Life is becoming more challenging by the moment for personal and family relations and requiring my most mature spiritual understanding to discern the events.
  4. Halloween really is about ghosts LOL

So how is God revealing Itself to Myself through this dream?

  • Don’t take things so damn seriously?
  • Accept the impermanence of EVERYTHING with a lighter heart?
  • Remember that my most important work here is to SEE THROUGH the bullshit and always look toward the TRUTH?
  • Understand that death is not at all what we’ve been programmed to believe?
  • Life’s potentiality is limitless in form?

Suggestions are welcome …….. in love and light.

(photo: Bird of Paradise, NY Botanical Gardens, Oct 2018)

Emptiness and Luminosity

Seven days of silence, a retreat lead by Adyashanti entitled, “The Embodiment of Insight”.

This was an opportunity to absorb so many pearls of wisdom evoked from the daily dharma talks, the six meditation sittings per day, the beautiful natural surroundings, and 270 beings sharing 3 meals per day, observing together both the stillness and the movement – in total Silence.

Some Pearls of wisdom worth sharing:

Always look inward to the depth of intuitive knowing. The learning comes from what’s evoked within you. The teacher should never actually have an answer to your question.

We are always Being, always Becoming.

Truth is transcendent of the opposites, but can express itself through it.

We’re all attracted to the light of the fire, but unaware of the vast open space around us.

When you meditate, Sit Tall, but let the breath be soft and easy.

Recognize that the dynamic pull of the unknown (God) is not only One Way. It goes both ways. IT needs us as much as we need IT.

There is no separation. The other side of joy is sorrow. The other side of suffering is peace. The other side of light is dark. One will always contain the other.

In the Zen tradition, nothing is explained. It is left to your own experience. I imagine that is why this teacher, Adyashanti, became such a master of dialogue and imagery, to give our rational mind something to understand. 

Meditation toolbox: Look at your thoughts with Kindness, Gentleness, Compassion.

How to go ‘all the way’ through to liberation? Never deny the truth of what you actually and always are.

In the eye of the hurricane: the still point is not separate from the chaos.

BE STILL LIKE A HUMMINGBIRD, (Henry Miller): A title that’s a perfect analogy for the paradox of life.

Deep spirituality begins when we come to realize we don’t know.

This life is going to go by in a flash. Do something for yourself; Take one moment, step back, take a breath, and take it all in. 

Namaste my fellow beings. In deep love I share these simple realizations.

Single Eye

“The Eye with which I see God is the same Eye with which God sees me” Meister Eckhart

The day after attending my mom’s burial I decide I need a quiet walk in nature.

Walking along Mountain Top Road, I find myself talking to mom.

Looking up into the sky, looking at the ground, trees, rocks, plants. Asking her to show me a sign.

I had made this request of her prior to her death, while she was in a morphine-induced sleep, knowing she heard me, and now reminding her that this was my wish.

When you’re free, please let me know, send me a sign that you are in the form of infinite love and peace, finally free of suffering.

I did not receive any observable signal today.

However, I am feeling a very unusually peaceful sense of calm, with a release of tears every now and then when the reminder of sadness wells up inside.

Today’s quiet walk in nature did present some clarity around our Divine nature.

The mind cannot comprehend IT, that which we ARE.
Infinity, infinite potential, is not 3-D mind-graspable.
But it is ALWAYS THERE. (Love had no beginning and no end)

So why wouldn’t mom be the SEER of life through MY eyes today?

As she is again ONE with ALL that IS, and that’s what “SEES” through each of our individual eyes.

Whatever ‘sign’ she shows me, depends on Janet’s ability to recognize the ONE who SEES through my eyes, the infinite SEER.

I think Dr. Petrovich says it more eloquently:

“So many folks tell me how much they want to live divinely, to really see it, experience it and be it. It’s almost as though people believe that somewhere “out there” is someone who is going to magically make a divine mindset appear. It is exactly the opposite. You are the only person who can change your focus within your life to one of divine awareness.

The task begins to break down to one basic concept: spending time in silence so that the cosmic, divine information has a place to land. And you know how busy your mind is during the day and also at night. There is a constant pitter-patter of mental rain that is always falling within your mind so the divine knowing has no space to enter.

Wanting to “feel it in your bones” must begin with your mind and heart. There is a direct connection among the mind, heart and bones with the heart leading the parade. The mind can either come along for the ride or can resist the idea and fight against it. This decision is entirely up to you.

When you begin to quiet down and listen to your heart, you will start realizing that your thoughts and mental words are simply symbols of your divinity. The awareness you are, the witness, the observer is truly what you are when you release the need to focus on specific thoughts about anything.”

Excerpted from: ‘Feeling It In Your Bones’ by Reverend Doctor Toni Petrinovich
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