There I was sitting in the diner, sipping my coffee, when it happened.
I could come up with a million explanations as to why I may have had this experience. My state of mind after 4 days of being away from home; chemotherapy treatment; blood-building injections for 3 days after treatment; climbing the mountain behind Todd’s house; meditating on a rock above the world; the magnificence of autumn colors …..
Maybe all of the above, maybe none.
I quietly observed one of the servers/waitresses from afar. She was unaware that I was staring. Simply going about her routine, checking her station orders, fully attentive to the job and the moment. I could almost feel her attentiveness to her own inner thoughts.
However, something even deeper was revealed to me while watching her.
There was an aura surrounding her, in fact, it was enveloping the entire space of the diner. Not only could I sense it, I almost could see it.
It felt and appeared as connective tissue, but translucent tissue that morphed and flowed in wavelike patterns. Like being under clear water and seeing the forms floating in it.
In that moment, I was assured that this web of existence is just that. An intricate, unseen Web of Life. A complete mystery that we will never see with these eyes.
Yet I was graced with the experience to glimpse at it.
In only a few short moments of earth “time” the universe revealed its infinite connective eternity to my consciousness.
Pouf. Tah dah! Here I AM, and I AM That!
The miracle. The Mystery. In a diner of all places.
Saturday was my great-nephew’s 5-year-old birthday party. It was one of those days when the weather is so magnificent you almost can’t believe how beautiful the earth actually is.
So I took the long drive, to be with family who I haven’t seen in a while. To celebrate and enjoy watching the children play outside together.
It was a glorious day for an outdoor party. Great food, conversation, laughter, stories, kids on the trampoline and the clown makeup and balloons.
However, there was something very strange about the day for me. A lingering feeling. An indescribable sense of lightness, a mistiness – kind of how you feel in the steam room when the solid objects are sort of blurred. It was not only the haziness that lingered throughout the day, but there was also the intense presence of my deceased mother. No, I did not think she was there, I knew – yes, I KNOW – my mother was there with us the entire time.
One of the grandmas at the party mentioned to me that my smile reminded her of my mom, and she said, “how she loved to talk and to be with the children.”
I said, “Yes, I know. And she’s here with us today.”
Except, my comment was not made as a casual figure of speech.
On the drive home, the setting sun left the sky so picturesque that I was in awe for the entire ride. Not that that’s so unusual for me. However, it was more intensely felt because I did not feel separate from what I was admiring. I was the sky.
I cannot even explain it any better than that. And it wasn’t until my friend, Annette, shared this video with me this morning that I found a way for it to be expressed with a little more clarity.
Carolyn Myss, 2019 live in Canada is a talk about faith, miracles, prayer, and mysticism. These little blurbs really resonate with me, especially after yesterday’s experience. (these are paraphrased excerpts)
What’s required for a miracle is that you have such regard for yourself – the more you trust heaven the closer it gets.
Self-esteem at the soul level is the ability to be able to be given an experience that nobody else has, and you can withstand the doubt of a tsunami of people coming at you. If you require the enforcement of other people you cannot be given an experience that only you can substantiate. You’re too fragile, everyone’s doubt will turn into your rage. That’s because other peoples’ doubt for you is personal. It’s not until their doubt means nothing to you that you can handle an experience that only you know is real. So their doubt means nothing. Nobody’s’ fear scares you, nobody’s illness scares you; What’s there to be afraid of? There’s nothing on earth to be afraid of because your soul knows better.
You pray like you’re crazy.
Okay God, I don’t know how to pray with you yet, but I’ll listen, I’m coming for you, come get me.
Start there. There’s no need for petition prayer. That’s irrelevant. Don’t pray for stuff.
Take me down deep, show me the reason you gave me life and keep me on that route.
Turn the light on, show me the reason.
Let me face what I do not want to see.
That’s how you pray.
Let me do no harm with my dark side while I encounter it.