break-through

Whenever I seem to experience what I’d call a Newness of Attention/Awareness I recognize these two distinctions:

If the Newness of Attention/Awareness is experienced on a lower level emotion; i.e., fear, anger, despair, disgust, arrogance, regret, resentment, unforgiveness ….

Usually, almost always, it is the direct result of a duality-focused mindset – the analytical, thinking, separate mind of egoic consciousness.

However, when the Newness of Attention/Awareness is experienced on a higher level emotion; i.e., compassion, acceptance, gratitude, wonderment, faith, humor, glee …

There is no mind-causality – it’s bestowed as pure grace.

I noticed this, especially, because it happened TODAY.

Out of nowhere.

Like a sunray peaking through a cloud-filled sky.

Not of my own doing – or of anyone else.

I clearly recognized the power/strength of my human will while simultaneously feeling the equanimity of the mystery of God’s perfection in guiding my every moment.

A peacefulness beyond any logical understanding.

In this state of grace, I knew something had downloaded into my consciousness. An unexpected gift after a brief time of sadness.

I was intuitively moved to revisit my tattered copy of the I Ching for a reading … for perhaps a deeper insight to this momentary opening to the Presence of Peace.

Here’s what the coins I threw revealed …

43. Kuai / Break-through (Resoluteness)

above TUI THE JOYOUS, LAKE

below CH’ien THE CREATIVE, HEAVEN

This hexagram signifies on the one hand a break-through after a long accumulation of tension, as a swollen river breaks through its dikes, or in the manner of a cloudburst. On the other hand, applied to human conditions, it refers to the time when inferior people gradually begin to disappear. Their influence is on the wane; as a result of resolute action, a change in condition occurs, a break-through.

The hexagram Kuai actually means a break-through as when a river bursts its damn in seasons of flood. The five strong lines are thought of as mounting from below, resolutely forcing the weak upper lines out of the hexagram. The same idea evolves from the images. The lake has evaporated and mounted to the sky. There it will discharge itself as a cloudburst. Here again, we have the idea of a break-through.

The I Ching or Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes

As I acknowledge the Source (God) of ALL THAT IS, I cannot neglect appreciation and honor for every being that contributes to my life

– every being – human and non-human –

who has held me up

and made me laugh

and made me weep

and evoked every potential emotion out of this bodysuit I dwell in.

It is unspeakable how miraculous this life really is.

May that understanding keep hold in my heart forever …..

and in yours …

Namaste.

Reveal my purpose

Eventually the sadnesses was bound to reveal itself

For a time I was so sure this Living Self IS Divine Purpose

Even the Mystery of it’s plan found a place where acceptance lived within my heart

Really, I felt the grace of it’s presence

FULL acceptance of it all – incurable cancer diagnosis … chemo life sentence … pain returns just when I begin to feel better … unfulfilled dreams … slow fading beauty of my womanhood … creeping onset of muscle atrophy … fading memory of teaching yoga … steadily declining potential for useful work in this world

An Aching Angst is pushing the Acceptance right out of it’s dwelling place and it’s squeezing hard against my heart muscles

Oh God, the sadness

It’s so debilitating

But then the Voice of my intuition begins to whisper, Let the sadness move Itself through you for a while. It’s necessary

My intellect replies, But it’s annihilating all the strength and courage in my heart. It’s infiltrating Itself through my tissues, my skin. The tears, the sobbing, dear God, it’s so painful. I gotta stop it!

You know, there is a connection to Source beyond our wildest imagination

Here’s how it showed up for me … in a weekly Kabbalah Center podcast …

just one sentence …

Let every moment be a deep longing prayer to the Light of the Divine Creator:

REVEAL TO ME MY PURPOSE

(Be open, and listen to the signs, but you will have to do this hundreds of thousands of times until the truth of it is revealed to you).

It really is a miracle – Light’s capacity to expel darkness.

unlocked

Today’s Contemplation:

is your heart and mind like a locked box?

are old beliefs locked inside and new beliefs locked out?

what if you could unlock your heart and mind?

allowing the old conditioned ideas to be released

accepting the possibility that those ideas/beliefs were never really true

Now new ideas and possibilities can enter

Leave the lock off

Leave the box open

Now the hearts True Voice can be deciphered.

Now the mind is open to resonate with the heart

the heart’s innate ability is to choose each action in the present moment without attachment to outcome

Today’s Prayer:

Creator of Life Itself

I open my heart and mind to your True Voice

I offer my ignorance up to You and humbly request your True Wisdom

to inform my action in the present moment

Help me to remember to leave the lock off

Unlock my heart and mind

To receive your Infinite Presence and Truth

And to serve Life through That Wisdom

Show me the way to serve in each moment

I’ve unlocked the box for YOU to enter

the vow …

A Mother's Day contemplation

You have a role to play

You were Created to fulfill a Purpose

But it gets confused in the pseudo reality of your perceptions

In the separated mind – a place of make-believe

Wouldn’t it be devastating to face that you’ve been living a lie?

Living in a world where a separate, analytic, human, egoic mind createdTruth”?

Can you tap into your intuition on this one?

What CREATED you?

Is the CREATOR, CREATION, CREATING occurring simultaneously while appearing separate in time?

If you don’t know, then how can you claim anything else as True?

If the CREATOR is ONE inexorable, ubiquitous Mind (GOD)

Then that’s the Only (Source) in which Knowledge Exists

Could it be that simple, could it be that unfathomable?

Why would you make a decision to fulfill a human LIFETIME in a body ignorant of Purpose?

Are you willing to LOOK OUTSIDE your separated mind?

Are you yearning to LOOK INSIDE your heart’s One Mind?

Could a momentary glimpse allow you to SEE THROUGH time’s illusion

and the make-believe ideas we humans have created?

Can you STOP making conclusions because you call it science?

There is not a scientist on earth who KNOWS what LIFE IS.

How can he/she speak True Knowledge?

Why would you place your Trust in that?

Are you a player in this charade without PURPOSE?

Without Meaning?

Can you accept NOT knowing?

Can you TRUST the VOW that INFINITELY connects you to CREATION?

Are you willing to INQUIRE and CONTEMPLATE on these questions …

“Where do I place my attention in each moment?”

“How am I fulfilling the never-ending VOW to CREATION’S PURPOSE?”

Prayer

Oh Sacred Creator

In Your All-ness

of Infinite worlds

You look through my eyes

How ridiculous and ignorant and lost and disconnected

we appear through my eyes

I am disheartened

That the Reality of One

Is unknowable here

But my heart’s voice says

“Love them to the best of your ability”

Oh Sacred Creator

Is this Your True Voice?

Bestow upon my simple existence

Your Divine Knowledge

So that I may properly serve this World

Prayer

Saturday was my great-nephew’s 5-year-old birthday party. It was one of those days when the weather is so magnificent you almost can’t believe how beautiful the earth actually is.

So I took the long drive, to be with family who I haven’t seen in a while. To celebrate and enjoy watching the children play outside together.

It was a glorious day for an outdoor party. Great food, conversation, laughter, stories, kids on the trampoline and the clown makeup and balloons.

However, there was something very strange about the day for me. A lingering feeling. An indescribable sense of lightness, a mistiness – kind of how you feel in the steam room when the solid objects are sort of blurred. It was not only the haziness that lingered throughout the day, but there was also the intense presence of my deceased mother. No, I did not think she was there, I knew – yes, I KNOW – my mother was there with us the entire time.

One of the grandmas at the party mentioned to me that my smile reminded her of my mom, and she said, “how she loved to talk and to be with the children.”

I said, “Yes, I know. And she’s here with us today.”

Except, my comment was not made as a casual figure of speech.

On the drive home, the setting sun left the sky so picturesque that I was in awe for the entire ride. Not that that’s so unusual for me. However, it was more intensely felt because I did not feel separate from what I was admiring. I was the sky.

I cannot even explain it any better than that. And it wasn’t until my friend, Annette, shared this video with me this morning that I found a way for it to be expressed with a little more clarity.

Carolyn Myss, 2019 live in Canada is a talk about faith, miracles, prayer, and mysticism. These little blurbs really resonate with me, especially after yesterday’s experience. (these are paraphrased excerpts)

On Miracles:

What’s required for a miracle is that you have such regard for yourself – the more you trust heaven the closer it gets.

Self-esteem at the soul level is the ability to be able to be given an experience that nobody else has, and you can withstand the doubt of a tsunami of people coming at you. If you require the enforcement of other people you cannot be given an experience that only you can substantiate. You’re too fragile, everyone’s doubt will turn into your rage. That’s because other peoples’ doubt for you is personal. It’s not until their doubt means nothing to you that you can handle an experience that only you know is real. So their doubt means nothing. Nobody’s’ fear scares you, nobody’s illness scares you; What’s there to be afraid of? There’s nothing on earth to be afraid of because your soul knows better.

On Prayer:

You pray like you’re crazy.

Okay God, I don’t know how to pray with you yet, but I’ll listen, I’m coming for you, come get me.

Start there. There’s no need for petition prayer. That’s irrelevant. Don’t pray for stuff. 

Take me down deep, show me the reason you gave me life and keep me on that route.

Turn the light on, show me the reason

Let me face what I do not want to see.

That’s how you pray.

Let me do no harm with my dark side while I encounter it.

That’s how you pray.

Pray like you mean it.