Joy and Sadness

Sometimes I go into the bathroom to bury my face into the bath towel

So I can sob without being heard

This SADNESS

It’s a strange thing.

Why am I feeling it so strongly?

What is sadness?

Perhaps without sadness we could never really know JOY.

I’ll go with that.

I’ll take the high road.

The gift of knowing real joy.

As hard as it is to swallow that you’re more near death than you were before

the blessing comes in it’s gift of growing closer to God.

And the people in your life.

Who you care so much about.

To know it’s time to tell them how you really feel.

How much you love them.

Regardless of the pain or anguish they may have brought into your lives.

It’s time.

To feel the sadness with all your heart.

So that you can enJOY the experiences you have left with loved ones.

I really know that now.

The angels are hovering over me to help me see it clearly.

It’s the Love God gave You to find within You and joyously share with others

Everything else is really all bullshit.

I pray for the Strength to fully Be that Being of Light.

Water

I checked my phone for the weather in Lackawaxen.

“No rain for the rest of the day, just cloudy,” I said to my husband. “Let’s take our walk.”

We got about half-way around the big U-shaped dirt road. It started raining. Slow at first, but then real heavy. We laughed and tried to shelter under tree branches.

At least I had my hiking rain jacket with a hood, so I didn’t get as soaked as Frank, who was wearing shorts and a cotton shirt.

Lesson learned …

Maybe we’ve all been programmed to rely too much on technology? (LOL, no kidding!)

Although the science of weather forecast, observing, analyzing and predicting, is one we’ve been able to get better at – it will NEVER suffice to know what’s beyond our control and understanding.

Like the Nature of Creation.

Creation is way beyond our real understanding. We can only use symbols to allude to its unfathomable and infinite BEING.

As I laughed and sang in the rain, I contemplated …

How awesome is this Creation?

How amazing is our Creator?

A Creator Always conspiring to open our hearts to God’s Truth

Everything in Nature is showing us that God is the Only Truth

As I laughed and sang in the rain, I prayed .;..

May we find remembrance and remain hopeful that we’ve not gone so far into forgetfulness that we’re beyond return.

May we remember that Science is about measurement and predictions of matter but that God is the Source of Matter.

May we never forget to honor the Mystery of Divinity in every waking moment of our lives.

May we remember the Divinity of Nature and always be in Awe.

May we remember to laugh and to sing in the rain.

The Spiritual Meaning of Water:

Be the diamond

The video below is such a beautiful articulation of our relationship to the Creator.

This is not a plug for any particular esoteric belief system, it just happens to speak volumes to what my own experience is when I actually place my attention on “Being the Diamond” or as I’ve stated in my own way as Being Love.

I’m sharing this podcast to extend that shine, and inspire others to practice knowing their own perfection in Connection with the Creator.

There are so many gems to hear if you can listen for 48 minutes. Here are just a few:

Video time around 17:21:

‘“Anything that is not that diamond; that is NOT you”

(i.e.; our egoic self – 5-sense-controlled personal self is NOT that diamond, but instead it is the evil/sinner, false belief in separation from God, the opponent)

“My job is to identify what is NOT the diamond and remove it from my life”

22:24:  “Why do we have shame? Because we forgot the Creator

26:18 “The process is the purpose.”

On a personal note, tomorrow I start my “first” chemo treatment in 5 months of being on chemo holiday; this comes after a 33 day round of intense proton therapy radiation. I am laughging at the idea of it being my “first” chemo treatment; after all, I’ve had a total of 52 chemo infusions in the past 3-1/2 years.

However, this idea about Being the Diamond has shined a light on this experience that was not visible to me before …

Every moment is “the first” and potentially “the last” in which we have a choice … how will I learn/experience/grow/give/love and recognize my infinite potential of becoming the diamond?

Dear God, help me to remember to Be the Diamond. This prayer will be with me all day tomorrow. And I pray, to be with me in each and every moment ….

being love

“One of the best definitions which I have come across is that which defines evolution as “the unfolding of a continually increasing power to respond.”
― Alice A. Bailey, The Consciousness of the Atom

Finding myself in a place that feels like I’ve grown/evolved/changed in so many ways. Yet there’s an awareness that knows it’s somehow happening for reasons I can’t possibly understand. My neighbor, who was recently diagnosed with leukemia takes long walks with me when she’s home from her treatments. She is very religious, and during our walk today she shared something with me.

She said, “Sometimes our suffering is for someone else’s sake.”

I may have heard this before, but today it resonated more deeply. Not in a religious way. But in a way that affirmed that this Life Experience is beyond our limited knowledge of human existence.

Recently, I’ve had strong feelings/intuitions/awareness of my choice in every situation/relationship/communication with others of how to respond/behave/communicate.

It is NOT for my own sake. Because there is no my own.

I AM an expression of God’s Love. God is radiant, and It’s power is in the expansion of It’s Infinite Potentiality to show it’s True Nature.

I am Here to Be that (Love) for the other. In turn, it will expand and reflect Itself back to me. And how beautifully peaceful it feels when one recognizes that Truth and experiences it’s manifestations in the material world.

That means even through pain and illness and suffering, I am Here to Be that (Love) for the other.

I wish I had a more eloquent way of expressing this idea. But more importantly, I hope to remember to respond as if I know it is my purpose in life.

soul

“The soul is a part of man which is little known and only seldom realized. Every one may have access to the soul. It lies deep within the recesses of our own being. Desire for the higher attainments of life is the first requisite; and then a continuous turning within until the goal has been attained. a good start may be made through the realization of the truth that there is even more to human existence than corporeal health and material supply. When we catch a glimpse of the fact that more dollars, homes or automobiles do not constitute supply, that more travel does not constitute recreation; that absence of illness is not necessarily health; in other words; that ‘my Kingdom is not of this world’ we are going in the right direction to discover the realm of Soul.”

The Infinite Way, Joel S. Goldsmith

A few days ago it appeared. Outside my back door window there it was. Ridiculously obvious, but it’s message evaded me at first. Only the heart shape caught my immediate attention. Each morning I return to observe the “opening” in the outside snow through my window. Perhaps it will change? Or maybe it will disappear? How could that possibly look so perfectly heart-shaped?

As a result of the two feet of snowfall, my entire backyard pond has disappeared, and all that remains is a heart-shaped opening – almost like a breathing hole for the fish in the pond. (of note, we do have a pump running to keep oxygen for the fish, but that’s on the other end of the pond).

So each morning I return to admire and inquire of this “opening”, What is it you’re showing me?

Today it replied…

You are finding purpose here. Although it feels painful at times, like you’re going insane, and experiencing a complete breakdown of anything you once believed in, your purpose here is becoming more true. The true part comes alive when you trust your intuition that this material world manifestation you’re perceiving is only one reflection of the Truth of Life. Everything is that hole. Everything. An infinite potentiality of Creation beyond your wildest thoughts.

It continued to explain…

You know absolutely nothing through your thinking mind. Every time you feel sure of your rightness – you fall again, back into ignorance. Instead, let yourself fall into that infinite hole of Truth, the hole that is Creation Itself. There is nothing you can think that will change or alter IT. Trust IT. Place all of your faith in IT. Give your heart to IT. IT is infinitely connected through your Soul. Trust IT, Janet. It does not require belief in anything here in the material world.

It feels like I’ve always known this. Somewhere so deep that it easily gets lost in the muck of indoctrinated, learned perceptions.

But, thank God, not so deep that it is lost. The miracle is that the Soul’s purpose is infinitely present, and if we seek it – it can appear in unimaginable ways.

my prayer song

(sung to music from Give Me Love, George Harrison)

speak through me

help me see

through this heavy veil                              

free my mind

keep me kind

show me how to love

Let me serve

teach me truth, in this crazy world

feeling lost, it’s so dark that my

spirit dies      

Om m m m m m m m m m m
M m m my lord …

Please pry open my eyes so

I might truly see   

Oh yes See, oh yes See

forgive me    

forgive us     

let us live our truth  

teach us how           

to be free,     

keep us without fear           

learning to,

Hear your voice, in this noisy world   

learning to, trust and know You through

Love and Light        

Om m m m m m m m mm

M m m my lord …

knowledge

Today’s contemplation …

Step 115: Today I will listen to the Power of Knowledge: Upon the hour, remind yourself to listen to Knowledge and take a moment to do so in whatever circumstance you find yourself. Steps to Knowledge, Marshall Vian Summers

I’ve begun to realize that Knowledge is always available. When we remove ourselves from the incessant wanting (desire) to possess something that is impossible to grasp (Absolute Truth), the pointers are in everything that IS.

Upon becoming still and open-hearted, placing one’s attention on receiving (hearing, seeing, feeling), IT presents Itself in infinite forms.

I don’t claim any religious belief as the only way, and I don’t claim any intellectual belief as the only way. In fact, I don’t claim any belief as “the way.”

Perhaps that’s one of my pitfalls to Knowledge. I’m open to everything that invokes Wisdom (knowledge).

Today, I found Wisdom in both of these seemingly opposing perspectives; a Neoplatonist and an Hasidic rabbi. Knowledge is found in infinite forms – always pointing to the same Truth.

(entirety of talks are linked below the quotations)

“Some people only study physical phenomena. They slice it up and stick it in a microscope and that’s all they know. That’s all well and fine, but a true rounded person is interested in the totality of cosmic mechanics, what is and what is not, and how the universe works – is interested, as the greatest and wisest minds were, definitively, undeniably, interested in both physics and metaphysics, which are in totality a holos, just a one. You know a coin is not a head or a tail, it’s the coin and the silver of the coin, so these are not two different things.” 

Ken Wheeler

“Love is a tricky word. We don’t need to be told to love ourselves, we need to be told to share some of the love we have for ourselves. That’s the whole code of morality. You love yourself, can you give a little away? All your natural instincts are not meant for you . That is a huge lesson in life.

***   We are taught that study is extremely important, why?  So then you can teach. Even studying is not for yourself it’s so you can teach. Knowledge, information, wisdom, very important because then you can share it. Get yourself healthy, so you can turn your attention to others.

Rabbi Manis Friedman

heart cloud photo credit: Annette Adams

You can find it, my dears

This delightful man, who looks like Santa Claus graced me with his words today.

Here are just some of the sparkling word gems he shared that brightened my spirit, and confirmed what I know to be True, what he defines as,

This eternally present invisible presence – that which of course is completely unshaken by the dramas of this world.

In the bible there are 365 references to don’t be afraid, fear not, one for every day of the year. The Bible is full of clever things like this.

When you’re sure of your identity with the Eternal, when you discover what man really is, which is Spirit, then the worries about the flesh they diminish. The Spirit gets stronger until you really just laugh at it.

Compared to bad thinking, all the chemicals and plastics in the world is peanuts.

This world is a shadow of Divine origin, it comes to pass just like a nightmare. It has no reality of itself. Its only real as far as we believe in it. That is the fact. When one person even has the foggiest notion of this, it somehow raises the general level of consciousness. Those that recognize it more fully help to raise it even more.

Those that fully realize the infinite nature of man, they lift the whole world.

You can find it, my dears. It’s well documented. I’m one of many, many who have realized it and I’m pleased to share it.

me-dia (my god)

When I was ready to graduate high school I had to choose a quote to place under my yearbook photo. Always acting from a strange intuition that I never questioned, I chose lyrics from ‘Stairway to Heaven’ (It was 1978).

There are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on.”

I wasn’t so sure what it meant at the time.

There are many interpretations of the famous song; but one of them is that you can’t find happiness, peace, truth, God, light here in the material riches of the world. I think I’ve always known that; although my paths to recognizing it’s truth has been varied. I’ve changed roads many times.

But this single road has always been calling to me. What road is this?

It’s the road that is NOW (past, present and future), aka, the middle pillar (the third eye, aka, ajna – sanskrit for perceiving, light).

The ONLY path there is.

We can’t see it with our physical eyes or hear it with our physical ears. Yet, something within always knows it’s there.

This world’s insane great divide that appears on our black screens to tell us what’s happening wants to divide us into two separate paths. One of them appears to be technocratic control and transhumanism. The other appears to be freedom from control and government/medical manipulation.

However, upon close contemplation, this is a fraud. The only REAL freedom exists through the ONE middle pillar. It is not of this world. It has nothing to do with this world’s corrupt government options.

It is the path to Truth and Light and Happiness that is Everlasting (regardless of the pain and suffering and tears one may endure while in the physical world).

It is a place where the mind finds stillness.

As a wise woman of alchemy and linguistics, Lavette, says, “The word media actually means mi – dio (my god). And unfortunately, we’ve allowed the media to be our god. It is guiding us further down the path of deceit and corruption.

So how do we live in this world?

Look deeply.

Be still to gather your inner knowing, and sit with it.

Use your breath to quiet the chaos.

Know what you’re for (instead of dwelling on what you’re against) and take action on that.

Trust the Middle Pillar (the inner knowing) and the guides will appear.

I’m prayerfully asking this NOW for me,

for humanity,

and for our beautiful planet’s real potential to exist as heaven through our conscious mind that is ONE with God.

Namaste.

Enjoy this lovely woman’s wise soulful words:

unknowing

The day was so perfect for walking outdoors. Endless blue sky. Sunshine so blaring that my shade glasses couldn’t even soften the intensity of brightness.

A perfect moment to hear God’s voice.

It’s your own incessant knowing that is deceiving you.

Why is it you accept your unknowing about death; but can’t accept your unknowing about life?

So often you’ll recognize that no matter what you think you can’t absolutely know what death is. Why can’t you recognize that you can’t absolutely know what life is?

None of MY creations can know. Only the Creator holds the WHOLENESS of Knowing.

If you could see and hear the Reality of Being you would recognize the jewels of creation in a way you can’t now.

You would drop to your knees right now and place your lips on the dirt and stones beneath your feet.

You would raise your eyes to the blaring sun and cry out in devotion and amazement of its glory.

You would raise your arms to the endless blue sky and surrender to your ignorance of Life Itself.

Faith and hope and wonder and surprise and joy and ecstasy would fill your heart beyond your understanding.

Until then, you have not come full circle.

You remain on the rat wheel thinking you know something about life and making up stories and ideas that are simply beliefs you want to believe are true.

None of them are true, Janet.

ONLY I AM IS TRUTH.

THE BEGINNING, THE END, THE ALL.

Upon hearing God’s voice today, I really wanted to kneel down and place my lips on the dirt. Or lift my arms and bow down in adoration to the sun above. But I didn’t want my neighbors to think I’m a complete lunatic. The ego still holds its grip.

As I humbly continued my walk home, I saw the details of shadow and light in a more pronounced vibrancy.

Arriving home, I saw my husband in a new light. I saw my cancer in a new light. I saw my anger, my love, my emotions and my fragile body as a miraculous fleeting experience in my own awareness.

I will forget … but it’s okay … when I’m ready to remember ….

God’s voice is omnipresent