original

Photographer Credit: Jena Vignola

Way before I began delving into Advaita Vedanta and nondual teachings of all sorts, I often had a thought – an idea – a feeling,

What if I AM really infinity? Holy shit, how horrifying.

It’s a scary thought … to imagine that you’ll exist forever.

Who wants to live forever? (Not here anyway)

On the other hand, there’s the human fear of death.

Holy shit, I’m going to die. I won’t exist anymore.

Which is more terrifying:

living forever or not existing at all?

Over a decade of existential introspection and contemplation, I’ve never found a concrete answer.

In fact, I don’t think that the purpose of IS-NESS is to find an answer to anything.

This HUMAN BEING is the only ‘thing’ we’ve got.

It appears as a hard cold fact. Skin and bones. But, for sure, this solid ‘thing’ ain’t anything close to IS-NESS. This concrete form is like a Xerox duplicator for the Mind. You think, you imagine, and Voila, it shows itself! The mind is the duplicator, the body is the copy.

Which Mind is the Original?

The closest I’ve come to feeling intimate with knowing the “Original” was when I briefly experienced a merging of Subject and Object during meditation. And everything in time stopped. And the meaning of One Mind became clear. (still not an answer, only an intuitive feeling)

The other time was when I was like 10 years old walking home from school and suddenly observed myself as the observer –  I turned my attention back on attention Itself. I was only 10 so I didn’t really comprehend the depth of that experience, but I never lost the perfume it left on my consciousness.

At the present time, I’ve got this cancer thing going on. And, naturally, I’ve contemplated the reality of not living in this body anymore. I’ve wasted a little time wondering why this thing called cancer exists, and what it really is. But the inquiry usually leads me nowhere.

Thinking, thinking

Subject – Object

A vicious cycle. For a non-existent answer.

So now, let’s contemplate this … the photo that inspired this contemplation. (thanks to talented photographer, Jena Vignola)

There’s a background, an All-ness, the neutral-colored wall in the photo above.

There’s a pink sink and pink mirror frame. Let’s imagine Original Creation is the neutral-colored background Wall. The pink sink and mirror frame are the Objects floating in a sea of it’s Creator’s all-encompassing neutrality. But there’s a mirror. There’s an opportunity for even the Creator’s copy to look into the mirror to see it’s object self and contemplate, What am I?.

The Object and the Subject have never really become separate from one another. That’s the illusion.

Why? Why would Creation play such a ridiculous game?

Does it want to keep BEING itself and SEEING itself and FEELING itself again and again and again? …….

Is it’s devotion to ITSELF an INFINITE, never-ending and unfathomable experience to the lowly OBJECT it has created?

Why?

Again, no answer. Just an intuitive imaginative image:

The OBJECT is only a thought in the MIND of GOD. But even those words are insufficient.

Maybe just the photo suffices … a splash of color showing itself on the background of neutrality.

It only wants to experience ITSELF… and look back to see what it looks like.

You heard that I said to you, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you. If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, for the Father is great than I am’. John 14:28

unlocked

Today’s Contemplation:

is your heart and mind like a locked box?

are old beliefs locked inside and new beliefs locked out?

what if you could unlock your heart and mind?

allowing the old conditioned ideas to be released

accepting the possibility that those ideas/beliefs were never really true

Now new ideas and possibilities can enter

Leave the lock off

Leave the box open

Now the hearts True Voice can be deciphered.

Now the mind is open to resonate with the heart

the heart’s innate ability is to choose each action in the present moment without attachment to outcome

Today’s Prayer:

Creator of Life Itself

I open my heart and mind to your True Voice

I offer my ignorance up to You and humbly request your True Wisdom

to inform my action in the present moment

Help me to remember to leave the lock off

Unlock my heart and mind

To receive your Infinite Presence and Truth

And to serve Life through That Wisdom

Show me the way to serve in each moment

I’ve unlocked the box for YOU to enter

the unseen

Ultimately, we all share the same fear … THE FEAR OF DEATH.

Why?

Because it is unknown .

Because it is unseen.

Because we will no longer exist.

What if fear is NOT true?

What if we really don’t exist as truth in this form, but instead we are like dreamers in a dream?

If we believe in the dream, we take on the role of a player in the dream.

We are afraid of losing all of the dream-like experiences we call reality.

But if we acknowledge that we are the dreamers of the dream, we know we can only really Exist in the Creator of the dream.

When we establish an inner foundation – an inner stability – a trust that is always in the background of our knowing, we have access to an available well of certainty to remind us that the suffering of the world exists only in the egoic mind (the player in the dream), which finds itself separate from God (the Creator of the dream).

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Therefore, we do not give up, but even if the man we are outside is wasting away, certainly the man we are inside is being renewed from day to day. For though the tribulation (trial) is momentary and light, it works out for us a glory that is of more and more surpassing greatness and is everlasting, while we keep our eyes, not on the things seen , but on the things unseen. For the things seen are temporary, but the things unseen are everlasting.

vow

a solemn promise made to God to perform some act, make some offering or gift, enter some service, or abstain from certain things not unlawful in themselves. It carried the force of an oath.

New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

I awoke from sleep with the words “double helix” in my memory.

I’ve been contemplating ..

Why are these words being downloaded into my consciousness?

I have very minimal knowledge about DNA, and have no clear understanding of its nature.

I sense that I’m being guided to look deeper. Somewhere in my genetic makeup there is a Vow.  A promise to remember the Source of Life … to place all my attention on it … to have knowledge of it.

PROVERBS 5:1-5

My son, pay attention to my wisdom.

Listen carefully (incline your ear) to my discernment,

So that you may guard your thinking abilities and safeguard knowledge with your lips

For the lips of a wayward (strange) woman drip like a honey-comb(b), and her mouth is smoother than oil

But in the end she is as bitter as wormwood

And as sharp as a two-edged sword

Her feet descend into death. Her steps lead straight to the Grave (Or “Sheol”, that is, the common grave of mankind.)

Look deeper. What is the meaning here?

This wayward woman is the Not Real, the False, the Illusory World.

This Illusory World’s temptations, desires and earthly temporary pIeasures will never fulfill our longing for Truth.

The Illusory World (Maya) has hands that are like prison chains. It pulls us in and we believe that we can’t get out (unless physical death occurs).

When we betray our True connection to God/Reality and place our belief and trust in the world of illusions, we commit adultery, which results in deception of one’s True Self (a forgetting of our true and natural identity as One with God).

***

A sage named Patanjali described an eight-fold path of yoga, otherwise known as “Ashtanga Yoga” (“ashta” meaning “eight”, “anga” meaning “limb” in Sanskrit).

these are the last 4 limbs of the path to Realization:

  • pratyahara- withdrawal of the 5 senses from external objects
  • dharana―Single pointed focus on an external object (the Seer observes the Seen).
  • dhyana―meditation, a concentrated awareness of the relationship between the subject and the object (The Seer and the Seen are aware of each other)
  • samadhi―The subject and object join as One, realization of non-separation, higher consciousness. (Seer and Seen are the same).

What is the significance in all of this?

The number 8 symbolizes infinity … The double helix is an infinite spiral … and something in me remembers that the world of illusions is infinitely unfolding in One Mind (God).

The pull of God

This time-stream I’m witnessing on planet earth feels kind of like the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Like when you’re watching a movie and you want it to horrify you, enrage you, confuse you …

I wonder … Could it be that deep within our collective unconscious we want this scenario that’s seemingly happening?

And because we thought it, we desired it, we feared it, we imagined it,

it has to play out?

Anything we can possibly dream up – the most auspicious and the most ominous

Sooner or later it’s gotta show up – Every potential will be manifested

What the hell is going on here?

Are we lost and hopeless? Is there anything that we can do? What on earth is happening? Is anything true? Is this all a concocted game of insanity without purpose? What the hell am I doing here?

Then I relax. Breath. Close my eyes.

I feel alone in my uncertainty.

I hold the moment of silent inward connection.

Through what feels like my heart’s voice, I can feel what I intuit to be God’s (Absolute) pull.

It pulls so strongly at my heart that I can’t help but feel Certain that this pull is the most important thing to place my attention on. It’s voice silently informs me that I should spend every waking (and sleeping) moment in Time in devotion to Serve Its purpose, even though I don’t understand it.

This pull wants me to Trust It’s Certainty.

It says, Don’t ever stop contemplating my mystery and my omnipresence. This is your highest purpose.

And even when I forget, and feel lost in uncertainty, this pull of God continues to yearn for me to remember.

…you should no longer go on walking just as the nations also walk, in the futility ( emptiness; vanity) of their minds. They are in darkness mentally and alienated from the life that belongs to God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the insensitivity (dulling) of their hearts. (Ephesians 4:17, 18). Let a rotten word not come out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up as the need may be, to impart what is beneficial to the hearers (Ephesians 4:29)

I am pulled to remember that this paper world is not Real. We have forgotten how to connect with nature (God) and our materialism has become the only God we know. Of course, it looks bleak when we place our trust in what is Not True.

I feel the pull …. I feel the pull … I feel the pull of my heart strings.

only God exists

In the garden

I dig into dark dirt

Implanting greens and garden flowers

all the while listening

To Air that’s filled with beautiful Bird sounds

And the tender toll of wind chimes

and the crunch and crackle of brittle leaves

from rampant rushing chipmunks and squirrels

Is this Heaven?

I wonder … I contemplate … I yearn

To hear God’s gracious voice … again

The one that said

Nothing Real can be threatened

Nothing unreal exists

I resonate, I vibrate, on hearing this

and my gentle soul senses peace

again

on remembering that

Only GOD is REAL

NOT GOD, does NOT exist

So there is nothing to fear

the vow …

A Mother's Day contemplation

You have a role to play

You were Created to fulfill a Purpose

But it gets confused in the pseudo reality of your perceptions

In the separated mind – a place of make-believe

Wouldn’t it be devastating to face that you’ve been living a lie?

Living in a world where a separate, analytic, human, egoic mind createdTruth”?

Can you tap into your intuition on this one?

What CREATED you?

Is the CREATOR, CREATION, CREATING occurring simultaneously while appearing separate in time?

If you don’t know, then how can you claim anything else as True?

If the CREATOR is ONE inexorable, ubiquitous Mind (GOD)

Then that’s the Only (Source) in which Knowledge Exists

Could it be that simple, could it be that unfathomable?

Why would you make a decision to fulfill a human LIFETIME in a body ignorant of Purpose?

Are you willing to LOOK OUTSIDE your separated mind?

Are you yearning to LOOK INSIDE your heart’s One Mind?

Could a momentary glimpse allow you to SEE THROUGH time’s illusion

and the make-believe ideas we humans have created?

Can you STOP making conclusions because you call it science?

There is not a scientist on earth who KNOWS what LIFE IS.

How can he/she speak True Knowledge?

Why would you place your Trust in that?

Are you a player in this charade without PURPOSE?

Without Meaning?

Can you accept NOT knowing?

Can you TRUST the VOW that INFINITELY connects you to CREATION?

Are you willing to INQUIRE and CONTEMPLATE on these questions …

“Where do I place my attention in each moment?”

“How am I fulfilling the never-ending VOW to CREATION’S PURPOSE?”

revelation

Outdoors

In the sunshine

At the park

Near the lake

Touching water

Later at home

A cup of coffee

And a quiet contemplation

With God … Experiencing LIFE …As ME

God Becomes ME

To experience Consciousness

God comes through LIFE

Human Forms, All Forms

And Exists

To have an Experience

An Infinite Potential of EXPERIENCES

God gives its ESSENCE to ME … To LIVE as I choose

God’s Existence is profoundly neutral

Finding Purpose … IN … and AS … and THROUGH

Each and Every Life Form

Ease and Joy became present in my deeper knowing of this. It quickly fluttered, but I script it here for remembering later.

the word

The issue of freedom is very important so we can embrace the right or lose it. Where the mind is concerned, I opted many years ago to drop out of the mainstream world and later to get rid of my TV. I only listen to the classical radio station which is now commercial-free in my area and I don’t subscribe to any newspapers or magazines. Still, how can I know when my mind is perceiving, when it is thinking, and when it is merely regurgitating? For instance, if I tell you the world is round, I have no personal skills that qualify me to such an opinion. I am therefore merely reflecting what is accepted as truth in today’s world but this same mind might have subscribed to the flat earth theory hundreds of years ago. For instance, I can see an image of the Earth from a satellite or look at an antique map. Depending on the images shown to my mind and the text accompanying the images, I form my understanding, but the fact is still that without any personal experience, I can only reflect what my mind has memorized. Exactly how a mind retains knowledge is unimportant in this context. The knowledge itself is simply not original and can only be authenticated by reference to consensus.

Ingrid Naiman

I recognized a long time ago, that nothing we actually say is true.

The “word” is a representation, a copy, a symbol, of Sound, Vibration, Frequency.

This recognition has often left me

disappointed … confused … appalled … disgusted … frustrated

and sometimes this recognition has evoked

liberation … joy … enlightenment … inspiration

As I write this, the light has appeared, it is no longer nighttime (I’ve been up since 4 AM). Something woke me, and said:

Janet, you know the Truth. Yes, there appears to be evil (dark) and good (light) and yin (cool) and yang (hot) and everything in between.

And still, I AM is the only Reality – infinitely – no beginning, no end.

Every time you forget this, STOP, BE STILL, FEEL your breath, inhale all the suffering, pain, ignorance, evil and then exhale FORGIVENESS, LOVE, COMPASSION for all humanity.

And another day begins …..