fierce grace

I am the Way and the Master who watches in silence
Thy friend and thy shelter and thy abode of peace
I am the beginning and the middle and the end of all things;
Their seed of Eternity, their Treasure supreme
Bhagavad Gita 9:18

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone slipped a chemo pill into my wine glass at the Lake Region Fitness holiday party.

The next morning I awoke with a sore throat, but I bull-headedly forged ahead to work obligations and appointments, and 24 hours later the effects kicked in; fever, chills, body aches, nausea, diarrhea.

I haven’t felt this way since chemotherapy, was my initial thought.

But I also intuit that it often takes a fierce grace to bring our soul into alignment with our truest journey. This bout with a viral infection afforded me:

• Time to rest.
• Time to contemplate.
• Time to have no responsibilities to others.
• Time to accept discomfort on the deepest level.
• Time to fast.
• Time to be fully present with myself.
• Time to sleep deeply and dream.

So I write this as a Reminder to Self that the innate wisdom of our highest path is so beyond our understanding, so outside our limited perception, ineffable ….

I remain humbled in the Mystery.

the wave of life & death

The highlights, for me, from a short documentary on Ram Dass, Going Home:

I don’t wish you the stroke, but I wish you the Grace from the stroke.”

Ram Dass saw Hanuman in the garden. He asked him, “Who are you, Hanuman?”
Hanuman said, “When I don’t know who I am I am serving you. When I know who I am, I AM you.”

I’ve been sitting with the idea of Grace a lot. Looking at the waves of it. Big waves, small ones. …. We all ride it in our own way. There is such mystery and beauty in it all and such angst and suffering.

Then those Real moments of laughter put us back in “now” mode, the ecstasy of riding the wave.

And then we fall back again …..



Image: Thomas Deir paintings