Eventually the sadnesses was bound to reveal itself
For a time I was so sure this Living Self IS Divine Purpose
Even the Mystery of it’s plan found a place where acceptance lived within my heart
Really, I felt the grace of it’s presence
FULL acceptance of it all – incurable cancer diagnosis … chemo life sentence … pain returns just when I begin to feel better … unfulfilled dreams … slow fading beauty of my womanhood … creeping onset of muscle atrophy … fading memory of teaching yoga … steadily declining potential for useful work in this world
An Aching Angst is pushing the Acceptance right out of it’s dwelling place and it’s squeezing hard against my heart muscles
Oh God, the sadness
It’s so debilitating
But then the Voice of my intuition begins to whisper, Let the sadness move Itself through you for a while. It’s necessary
My intellect replies, But it’s annihilating all the strength and courage in my heart. It’s infiltrating Itself through my tissues, my skin. The tears, the sobbing, dear God, it’s so painful. I gotta stop it!
You know, there is a connection to Source beyond our wildest imagination
Here’s how it showed up for me … in a weekly Kabbalah Center podcast …
just one sentence …
Let every moment be a deep longing prayer to the Light of the Divine Creator:
REVEAL TO ME MY PURPOSE
(Be open, and listen to the signs, but you will have to do this hundreds of thousands of times until the truth of it is revealed to you).
It really is a miracle – Light’s capacity to expel darkness.
