Bhakti (faith, devotion) and Kriya, (Action, to do)

work not for the food that perishes, but for the food that remains for everlasting life …

John 6:27

During my chemotherapy treatment yesterday I listened to a podcast sent to me by my dear friend, Zahara. The timing of the message felt so serendipitous, as always with relationships we seemingly “find” ourselves in.

I’ll share the link to the podcast below, but in summary, the orator revealed to me something that enhanced my worldly perspective:

Any “other” in our life (shared relationship) is there for you, not you for them.

What does that mean?

What we “see” outside our personal self is perfectly placed there (in harmony) to our (yet unrevealed) need for reconciliation, healing, awakening, purification, and steps to Knowledge (God).

“They” or “It” is there to mold us, shape us, teach us, offer us an opportunity to make choices for our own path to self-realization (one-ness and connection with God)

Does that mean we (our personal self) play no role in service to others?

NO.

Of course, our personal course of action in the world is meaningful – our service to other; however, again, it is actually for the same purpose.

Undeniably, it is ALL for the SAME PURPOSE.

Enlightenment has to translate into service if it is to be real and meaningful. You were sent into the world to do something specific. Knowledge within you knows what this is and is trying to guide you and move you into a position where you can recognize this and meet those individuals who will be a part of your greater service and accomplishment here. Along the way, knowledge is building your strength, building your discernment and building your courage.

Most of the spiritual work is deconstructing your confinement, your disabilities, your fantasies, your obsessions and your delusions to help you divorce yourself from your weakness and to unite you with your strength. It takes faith to do this because you don’t really know where it is taking you. You do not really know the outcome.

You do this because you know you must do this. Because in your heart, you know you must take this journey. Not to satisfy the goals of the mind, your ideas of enlightenment or to become a saint, a goddess, or any of this foolishness. You’ve taken the journey because you must. And this is what returns you to God because you are following what God has put within you to follow. You do not know where it is taking you. It is deconstructing that which is imprisoning you. It is building your strength, your confidence and your ability to discern the power and the presence of Knowledge within you.

Marshall Vian Summers

How can this help us navigate the physical world?

When you look outside your eyes at that other appearing in your life – in every relationship and circumstance, ask yourself, “How will this encounter polish the inner diamond of my heart so that I may better serve the will of God within me while I am here in this moment?”

I hope there is a crumb of inspiration in this writing … I truly hope to share what may serve another along the way.

The foolishness of this world, the seeming deceit, corruption, and insanity has taken my personal mind down to a level of sadness that has actually served to further ignite and strengthen the force within me to seek a course of action in planting seeds of LOVE in the mud of the world.

I devote this post In gratitude to ALL of my teachers along the way:

Cancer – husband – family and friends – pets – nature – food – and every stranger I will encounter in this world.

Namaste.

revelation

Outdoors

In the sunshine

At the park

Near the lake

Touching water

Later at home

A cup of coffee

And a quiet contemplation

With God … Experiencing LIFE …As ME

God Becomes ME

To experience Consciousness

God comes through LIFE

Human Forms, All Forms

And Exists

To have an Experience

An Infinite Potential of EXPERIENCES

God gives its ESSENCE to ME … To LIVE as I choose

God’s Existence is profoundly neutral

Finding Purpose … IN … and AS … and THROUGH

Each and Every Life Form

Ease and Joy became present in my deeper knowing of this. It quickly fluttered, but I script it here for remembering later.

dream

An auspicious day, Friday, March 13, 2020.

A download in the predawn hours came to my subconscious knowing

However;  upon awaking to the conscious state of mind I couldn’t recall the details

Only that I KNEW something was received … in some way I don’t understand

The only words I recall hearing clearly were:

Hold the space for love

And

Bohemian rhapsody (LOL, WTF?!?)

What a beautiful spring day today turned out to be

I have never felt closer to Divinity as I do this moment.

There’s a certainty

A foundation

That no virus could ever penetrate.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see

I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low

Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me, to me…

Logos

When I received “Man’s Search for Meaning” (a book by Viktor E. Frankl) I immediately dove in – my dear friend, Zahara, had gifted me with a copy and informed me she would be reading it along with me.

Well, I should know better. My sensitivities to the horrors of Auschwitz always feels like I had been there in a past life, and just reading about it – I seem to re-live the events all over again.

For the first 40 pages, I thought, I am NOT going to get through this, this unimaginable, unthinkable, suffering.

I hoped that the eventual fruit of this torturous reading would be worth the trauma.

It was.

And no better moment to receive this wisdom – stuck in my own psycho drama … questioning life’s meaning … ready to throw in the towel and give up treatment … feeling loss of purpose … a mere Guinea pig for the cancer cartel. Thoughts like, I can’t go on like this anymore …. blah, blah, blah.

And what does life place in my lap? This gift from a man born in Vienna 1905, his meaningful message. His wisdom reaffirms the treasure my soul is quietly holding for me, patiently awaiting my recognition.

Below, an especially lovely excerpt that filled my heart with meaning:

“Let me recall that which was perhaps the deepest experience I had in the concentration camp. The odds of surviving the camp were no more than one in twenty eight, as can easily be verified by exact statistics. It did not even seem possible, let alone probable, that the manuscript of my first book, which I had hidden in my coat when I arrived at Auschwitz, would ever be rescued. Thus, I had to undergo and to overcome the loss of my mental child. And now it seemed as if nothing and no one would survive me; neither a physical nor a mental child of my own! So I found myself confronted with the question whether under such circumstances my life was ultimately void of any meaning.

Not yet did I notice that an answer to the question with which I was wrestling so passionately was already in store for me, and that soon thereafter this answer would be given to me. This was the case when I had to surrender my clothes and in turn inherited the worn-out rags of an inmate who had already been sent to the gas chamber immediately after his arrival at the Auschwitz railway station. Instead of the many pages of my manuscript, I found in a pocket of the newly acquired coat a single page torn out of a Hebrew prayer book, containing the most important Jewish prayer, Shema Yisrael. How should I have interpreted such a “coincidence” other than as a challenge to live my thoughts instead of merely putting them on paper?

A bit later, I remember, it seemed to me that I would die in the near future. In this critical situation, however, my concern was different from that of most of my comrades. Their question was, “Will we survive the camp? For, if not, all this suffering has no meaning.” The question which beset me was, “Has all this suffering, this dying around us, a meaning? For, if not, then ultimately there is no meaning to survival; for a life whose meaning depends upon such a happenstance-as whether one escapes or not-ultimately would not be worth living at all.”

Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl

mission

I have a mission to fulfill.

Don’t we all?

I recognize for an instant the connection of consciousness as One.

It’s only an instant. Pouf, it’s gone. I forget again.

Instead, I focus on the sharp stings in my chest, my armpit. I cringe. Fucking pain. Fucking cancer. The skin on my chest is so hideous I look like a freak show. And it hurts like a mother F-er.

Take another pill. Ha, me who never took an aspirin. Now I need a narcotic to get through the night.

Oh, she loves to pity herself doesn’t she?

Then I snap back.

I have a mission to fulfill.

Seriously. This mission is so important that it’s the ONLY thing that really matters.

And I’ll never get to KNOW what the mission is.

Maybe the mission will be revealed after this body is gone.

Or maybe it won’t.

It doesn’t matter.

It’s an INFINITE mission.

And we are ALL fulfilling it.

life’s greater purpose

it’s Not about me

AND

it’s ALL about me

How can I serve the greater whole?

How can I (the me)

serve the

greater whole (the not me)?

a CIRCLE illustrates that perfectly

Thinking Mind will not come to understand or see this Truth.

But something will clearly express it in our lives, when we open our hearts to allow it to be revealed.

It will always show up in a way that is unexpected. It may feel undeserved, unfair, unholy, unthinkable. But that is only the interpretation of the smaller thinking (me) mind.

Life’s greater purpose is Always working through us. No matter how it appears on the surface.

angel of death dream

DREAM:

observing the sky from a large floor to ceiling window.

in awe of a light formation in the early evening sky

it moved like swirls of wispy cloud-like substance

fast and spinning, up and down, in and out, and in a split second it’s GONE

Holy shit, what the fuck? 

I’m astonished

what the hell was that????

a moment later it reappeared in the same white cloud substance

but it was up close next to my window

it took the form of a SKELETON

not bones though, a cloud substance skeleton figure, animated as if talking to me

now I’m terror struck that this is happening right in front of my eyes

3-D LIFE:

Certain life-events yesterday may have contributed to my subconscious message to Self.

  1. Deeply moved by words I heard (credit and thanks to Global Witness, Derek’s You Tube dharma): “Everything we see in this world is a COPY of something that’s invisible, and a poor one at that”
  2. Driving along Route 17M, I have an unusually compelling impulse to look at my mileage (I never do this) and the number is 11, 144.
  3. Life is becoming more challenging by the moment for personal and family relations and requiring my most mature spiritual understanding to discern the events.
  4. Halloween really is about ghosts LOL

So how is God revealing Itself to Myself through this dream?

  • Don’t take things so damn seriously?
  • Accept the impermanence of EVERYTHING with a lighter heart?
  • Remember that my most important work here is to SEE THROUGH the bullshit and always look toward the TRUTH?
  • Understand that death is not at all what we’ve been programmed to believe?
  • Life’s potentiality is limitless in form?

Suggestions are welcome …….. in love and light.

(photo: Bird of Paradise, NY Botanical Gardens, Oct 2018)

destiny

“Where you need to go in life and your sense of direction are really the criteria for where you need to be physically. It’s not about the beauty of a place or your how close it is to nature or whether it has the nightlife or the daylife that you want, it is about whether that is the place you need to be now and where you need to build the next stage of your life.

This is a fundamental deep question that goes beyond your desires, your preferences, even your romance about a certain place because you could choose the most beautiful place imaginable and if that’s not where your life needed to be, it would be a dead zone for you. It would be empty. You might try to make it wonderful and everything you want it to be but it wouldn’t be true.

It all comes down then to finding your direction in life and that’s a navigational emphasis. It’s not like you know where you’re ultimately going to be because that is very unlikely. But are you in the right place at this right time and will you know if that needs to change? Will you know if you come to a point where the road ends, given where you are, and you need to make a change?

Because where you land physically and who you are associated with are two very critical things that will determine your ability to experience what you know and to follow what you know. For example, if you are in the wrong locale, you are not going to meet the critical people you need to meet. They are not going to be there. So the attributes of the place itself become very secondary, almost unimportant here except in so far as they serve your sense of purpose and direction.

People romance places as well as people and that is setting your life according to criteria that is really very meaningless. You were born with a higher purpose that means you have a destiny in life. A destiny means your have a direction you must find and follow, step by step, stage by stage.

Sensing if you are in the right place at the right time for this moment is very important and also realizing whether that place is temporary or permanent for you. This is why it is so important not to settle down, not to plant roots, not to establish yourself in a place not until you have a real sense of where you are going in life and a real sense if that place that you are choosing is really appropriate and necessary given this greater criteria for your life.

God has put Knowledge within you to guide you and to lead you towards your true direction, to be able to carry you forward within that direction given all the persuasions of the world, all the attractions of the world. It is your Knowledge then that will be your navigator, will help you to choose where you need to go, when you need to go and who you need to meet.

If you will follow this, you will have the greatest opportunity to discover the real meaning and purpose of your life and the contribution that you have come here to give.”

Marshall Vian Summers, The Messenger