sun light

Something about the day

the way the chilly air was warmed

by bright sun

my clothing’s violet color

the alignment of the stars and planets

A memory surfaced

just one of the many spiritual oddities I’ve experienced over the years

A spectacular moment

imprinted in my psyche

reappeared on my memory screen today …

It was probably around 2008 – a silent retreat weekend at Garrison Institute with Adyashanti. The weekend was held in complete silence throughout it’s entirety with a rigid schedule of 5 or 6 daily seated meditation sessions that were held in a spectacularly sunlit meditation hall (formerly the chapel). In the evening, Adyashanti would present a spiritual dharma talk on the chosen topic of the weekend (which I can’t remember).

However, what I do remember was The Moment … so brief that it seems ridiculous it would have had left such a deep impression.

In the midst of my practice, my eyes opened to observe my surroundings … the backs of the heads of hundreds of meditators – their spines held upright from their wooden pew – rows and rows of serious meditators

then it happened

I recognized the nature of reality in a brief second – in a way no words could describe. But my response was an overwhelming desire to burst into hysterical laughter. Before the laughter began to erupt from my belly, I became aware of the need to suppress it. But still, the inner laughter revealed to me what I needed to know. It freed me from the suffering of my own mind (and everyone else’s mind in that room) for the most ecstatic, orgasmic moment I have ever experienced in my lifetime. There were no words or ideas or beliefs associated with the laughter – only freedom – and a sense of seeing through all of the silliness of the serious work we were all pretending to do.

In that moment, I knew without a doubt, that EVERYTHING was as it was and should BE … no matter how many hours we meditated … no matter how much we wanted to know God and be enlightened … there was an underlying meaninglessness to the solidity of our form in the most light-hearted way – as if I could suddenly see through matter and know that the Spirit world was the only thing that was True about this Life.

I was FREE. For the briefest moment. The sunlight was real and the rest was only shadow.

Perhaps, then, the sunlight faded, and I returned to my solidity as Janet.

But today I was graced to remember.

Emptiness and Luminosity

Seven days of silence, a retreat lead by Adyashanti entitled, “The Embodiment of Insight”.

This was an opportunity to absorb so many pearls of wisdom evoked from the daily dharma talks, the six meditation sittings per day, the beautiful natural surroundings, and 270 beings sharing 3 meals per day, observing together both the stillness and the movement – in total Silence.

Some Pearls of wisdom worth sharing:

Always look inward to the depth of intuitive knowing. The learning comes from what’s evoked within you. The teacher should never actually have an answer to your question.

We are always Being, always Becoming.

Truth is transcendent of the opposites, but can express itself through it.

We’re all attracted to the light of the fire, but unaware of the vast open space around us.

When you meditate, Sit Tall, but let the breath be soft and easy.

Recognize that the dynamic pull of the unknown (God) is not only One Way. It goes both ways. IT needs us as much as we need IT.

There is no separation. The other side of joy is sorrow. The other side of suffering is peace. The other side of light is dark. One will always contain the other.

In the Zen tradition, nothing is explained. It is left to your own experience. I imagine that is why this teacher, Adyashanti, became such a master of dialogue and imagery, to give our rational mind something to understand. 

Meditation toolbox: Look at your thoughts with Kindness, Gentleness, Compassion.

How to go ‘all the way’ through to liberation? Never deny the truth of what you actually and always are.

In the eye of the hurricane: the still point is not separate from the chaos.

BE STILL LIKE A HUMMINGBIRD, (Henry Miller): A title that’s a perfect analogy for the paradox of life.

Deep spirituality begins when we come to realize we don’t know.

This life is going to go by in a flash. Do something for yourself; Take one moment, step back, take a breath, and take it all in. 

Namaste my fellow beings. In deep love I share these simple realizations.