Medical marijuana ramblings at 2 AM
Is this what it feels like to live in your head? God, get me the Fuck out of here.
This is not my mind, is it? I must be F-ing crazy. I roll over a thousand times pulling the sheets with me, and my darn cat plopped on my legs gets tossed from side to side.
Lord, have Mercy on me. Lord, have mercy on me. Lord, have mercy on me.
What were the best moments?
A million run through me. Like moving pictures.
And then all the faces. Every one of them I’ve ever known or seen.
LORD, teach me to pray. LORD, teach me to pray. LORD, teach me to pray.
Sitting on my mat I pray, There I am. In my picture mind. In my beauty.
Om namah shivaya, gurave. Sat chit ananda, murtaye. Nichprapanjaya shantaya. Nira lambaya tejase. Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.
Have I gone crazy? Maybe I’ve always been.
Please God, teach me to pray.
Then I see his face.
For who he truly is.
Not God, but my relationships here on earth. All the male ones. And then the female ones too.
And their words replay in my mind’s ear. And I am able to hear through the words.
LORD, let me remember the peace that surpaseth all understanding.
And I realize all that I heard. It was the same calling. From every one of those faces, every one of them.
All saying the same thing:
I WANT TO SHINE AND BE BEAUTIFUL. IF EVEN FOR A MOMENT.
Why?, I ask.
BECAUSE I WANT TO BE LOVED.
and like Angels, one day, they do.